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Survivor dads
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Suggestions for Dads
- Take some time for
himself. Very often dads, especially emergency services
dads, are so busy taking care of others that they may be
neglecting themselves. Encourage them to schedule some time for
themselves, doing things that they enjoy doing.
- Don’t take on new responsibilities.
Males tend to plunge themselves into work in order to keep busy.
As long as they are busy, they don't need to feel. Since feeling
hurts, it is easy to keep very busy so you don't hurt.
- Allow himself to cry. Even if it
is in the shower, with the water running. Crying can be very
healing.
- Read about the grief process.
Males tend to be action oriented, so capitalize on this trait
and suggest they learn about the grief process. Not only will
you be helping them educate themselves, they will be doing
something productive.
- Talk with other bereaved fathers.
Seeing that other fathers are experiencing similar reactions
often helps decrease the feeling that they are going crazy, that
they are the only ones who have ever felt this way.
- Talk with his significant other.
Even though this sounds too obvious to suggest, it may be
necessary. If he thinks that talking about their loss will cause
her to cry, he is unlikely to bring it up. Their loss may then
become the secret they never talk about, which may leave both of
them feeling very isolated.
- Accept that genders grieve differently.
Men and women ARE different and they will grieve differently.
- Take one day at a time. Age old
advice that works in this situation also.
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